


unspoken things

by ninetynineclouds (foggydays)



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Non AU, happy first anniversary loves, sf9 anniversary fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 01:36:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12266262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foggydays/pseuds/ninetynineclouds
Summary: seokwoo and taeyang are more than friends, but they're not lovers.





	unspoken things

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hwiyoung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hwiyoung/gifts).



> just a short fic i wanted to post for sf9's first anniversary!  
> this is...actually beta-ed for Once (thank you so much [yi](http://archiveofourown.org/users/hwiyoung/pseuds/hwiyoung)) (and thank you for the title too) uhh.. i hope yall enjoy it!

There’s an unspoken thing between them. Taeyang doesn’t know how to bring it up, doesn’t know if he even should. But he knows that whatever it is that he has going on with Seokwoo is more than them being  _ just friends.  _ He isn’t stupid to not be able to read the signs – he knows when someone likes him too. He knows by the way Seokwoo’s hands would lay on the curve of his back and on his thighs for longer than it should be, and the way he’d already be looking at Taeyang when Taeyang finds his eyes wandering to the other; everything about it tells him that the feeling he has for Seokwoo is mutual. They’re definitely more than just friends, but they’re not lovers. Seokwoo and Taeyang both know that.

But they have never addressed it, simply leaving it be and going with the flow of things. And even all the members know there’s something going on between them (also, here’s a secret: they have a bet amongst themselves that the two do not know of) and the members think they should really talk it out soon because they can see how frustrated Seokwoo and Taeyang would get with themselves, and the rest are just as frustrated about it too. Youngkyun would sigh and ask Chanhee,  ‘when are they going to kiss and get together already?’ when he notices the way Seokwoo would look at Taeyang like a lovestruck fool without the younger noticing, and Chanhee would shrug before going back to whatever he did before. Chanhee has his own existential crisis at the age of seventeen to worry about anyway.

The truth is, Taeyang is afraid. Even if he knows that they both know they feel the same way about each other, he doesn’t know if bringing it up would make things awkward between them. He isn’t sure if Seokwoo would even like to talk about it. The younger craves for so much with Seokwoo, but he isn’t sure if Seokwoo is the same. He doesn’t know if Seokwoo would want to take it to another level like he does, and he doesn’t think he can take it well if Seokwoo ends up pushing him away when Taeyang finally decides to open up. God, why do feelings and romance have to be so complicated? And why is it so hard to figure out what another person wants?

Thankfully, Taeyang doesn’t have much time to be thinking about his feelings and the whole thing that’s going on with Seokwoo. The group gets too busy with schedules that include having to go overseas to perform, and Seokwoo has his own schedules to head to as well. They barely have the time to rest and catch their breaths, and when they do actually have the time, all they would do is catch up on the sleep they’ve been deprived of. Though.  they don’t get to rest for a long time either. because they still have to practice, practice, then go to their schedules again. It’s physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting, but this is what they signed up for. And to be honest, they do quite enjoy it and find that sacrificing their sleep and constantly practicing is worth it when they hear the screams of the fans and the synchronized fan chants, and the replies that would come under their tweets asking if they’re doing well and reminding the group that they love and miss them.

But soon, when schedules start to slowly lessen and free time becomes something they get to indulge in more often, Taeyang’s mind would automatically think of Seokwoo. Taeyang really wants to talk about it because he’d like to bring it to another level where they can finally kiss each other breathless and whisper sweet nothings and say ‘I love you’ with a romantic meaning behind it instead of the usual platonic ‘I love you’s that each member share with one another. Taeyang’s beginning to get even more impatient and infuriated because he wants more than what they have, wants Seokwoo to acknowledge and tell him about his feelings. He wants to be able to call Seokwoo his significant other.

Other than his thoughts that consists of Seokwoo, Taeyang also finds that these days he’s becoming more homesick than usual and misses his family. He’s craving for the food that his mother cooks (not that he doesn’t like the cooking of the boy he really, really likes), and wishes to spend some time with his family that he doesn’t get to meet often because he’s busy working. He badly wants to head home, but they already have to prepare for another comeback that’s set to be in October, the month their first anniversary as SF9 would be. So even though they have some free time to spare, they can’t afford to go back home. And because of this, the boy hasn’t been feeling too good lately and would mostly like to be left alone in the comfort of his room with earphones plugged in or spend more time in the practice room.

The members understand his need for his own space and Taeyang is grateful that they simply leave him be.

 

 

  
  
Taeyang spends most of his day in the practice room even though they don’t have practice and are free to do whatever they’d like. He dances until his clothes are soaked with his sweat and doesn’t have any more energy to continue. He knows that tomorrow, he’ll wake up with aching limbs, but at least today he manages to get his mind off everything.

The songs continue to play even as he decides to stop and lie flat on the floor, spread out like a starfish. He closes his eyes as he lays on the cold wooden floor, and the only things he could hear are his heavy breathing and the song that’s blasting, so he doesn’t notice when someone enters the practice room. It’s only when he feels a shadow loom over him that he does, and when his eyes flutter open, he’s greeted by a pretty face.

The heavy feeling in his chest is soon replaced by something warm when it’s Seokwoo whom he sees the moment he opens his eyes. The older male is looking down at him with a soft smile and he offers Taeyang a hand that pulls the boy up when he grabs it. Seokwoo gently squeezes his hand and holds it for a few more moments before letting go.

“It’s late. You’ve been here for hours, let’s head back to the dorm.”

The way Seokwoo looks at him, so softly and with emotions that he doesn’t mention anything about, does things to Taeyang. It isn’t hard to read the gaze Seokwoo offers him, it’s something he always sees whenever Seokwoo lays his eyes on him. Taeyang figures that he probably looks at Seokwoo the same way as well. But no matter how many times Taeyang sees the way Seokwoo looks at him,  his stomach still does flips and his heart still aches. His mind momentarily blanks out – it feels foggy. Shit, Taeyang really likes Seokwoo so much he feels like his heart could actually burst.

_ I like you, I like you so much, I want you so bad. _

“Okay. Did you come from the dorms?” Taeyang asks the other, trying his best to sound normal as if his heart isn’t beating at a faster rate and feels like it’s about to leap out of his chest just by looking at Seokwoo. He quickly pulls his eyes away and walks to where the stereo is and pulls the plug from his phone.

“Yeah. Came to fetch you. If I didn’t, you probably wouldn’t even leave,” Seokwoo replies. He grabs Taeyang’s jacket that’s on the floor and passes it to him, then turns off the lights before they both head out.

Taeyang snorts, “I will eventually. Are the members already sleeping?”

“Sounds fake, but okay. And yeah, they’re all knocked out.”

Their hands brush against each other like it always does when they’re walking so closely side by side as they head out of the building, and they let it be without moving further apart or making a move to hold hands. Then again, it’s not like they can be holding hands in public and furthermore, they’re not boyfriends. They simply walk in silence as the cold breeze kisses their skin – it’s not an awkward silence that engulfs them, it’s never an awkward silence when they’re together. Taeyang likes how Seokwoo never minds it when Taeyang decides to be quiet, and they’re always able to comfortably be with one another without talking.

It doesn’t take long for them to reach their dorm from their company building. Seokwoo is already about to unlock the door when Taeyang gets a sudden outburst of courage that he rarely finds within him. He acts without thinking and weighing his actions like he always does; he firmly grabs Seokwoo’s arm which startles the other and makes him drop the keys. Taeyang quickly lets go and starts to panic once he realises what he’d done, and Seokwoo looks at him questioningly after he’s picked up the keys.

There’s a pause, then Taeyang takes a deep breath and internally tells himself to  _ just go for it  _ because 1) he can’t think of anything he could say to bullshit his way through and 2) since he feels like he can’t take whatever they have between them being left as something unspoken any longer, he might as well spill. And what’s the worst that can possibly happen? (Somewhere, a voice says, ‘everything terrible starts with you asking this question.’)

“ _ Hyung…  _ I – uh. Wuh-what are we?”

“Huh?” Seokwoo replies, genuinely not understanding the question. There’s a look of confusion on his face and he blinks a few times. Taeyang holds the groan that threatens to escape his lips at having to repeat the question, then he gestures wildly between them which leaves the older male even more confused.

“What are we?” He repeats the question, louder and clearer this time, and then he continues to say,

“What’s going on between us? You know that I like you, right? And I know you like me. So why are we acting like our feelings aren’t mutual?”

It undoubtedly stuns Seokwoo, and the questioning look transforms into shock. Taeyang feels his palm sweat out of nervousness and he’s so close to regretting saying all those things because Seokwoo doesn’t respond in what feels like five years. Just as he’s about to say, ‘forget it’ and tell the other to quickly unlock the door, Seokwoo reaches out for both his hands and interlocks his fingers with Taeyang’s.

“Is this what’s been bothering you lately and the reason why you haven’t been hanging around with me much these days?”

“…Yeah. Well, part of it at least.”

A light chuckle escapes the older’s lips and he says, “I just didn’t know if you want to – y’know, date? And I didn’t know what to say to you, so I decided to just not say anything at all.”

“Me too, but I don’t think I can let it stay that way longer. Just date me already.”

Taeyang’s bluntness surprises them both, and they’re a blushing mess who also can’t stop themselves from smiling. The boy thinks it’s going to be a night that he’ll remember for a long time and he knows Seokwoo will constantly tease him about it next time. They eventually get inside and Seokwoo tells Taeyang to go shower while he heats up the leftover kimchi fried rice for Taeyang that he cooked for the members earlier. Seokwoo later accompanies Taeyang in the kitchen as he eats and they talk a little about Seokwoo’s day and what the other members were up to (most of them slept throughout the day, except Juho who’s been focusing on song making and Sanghyuk who occasionally whined about being hungry and kept himself busy doing God-knows-what) while Taeyang was out. When Taeyang is done, Seokwoo tells him to just leave the plate in the sink and that he’ll wash it the next day.

The younger male  yawns. “We should go to bed. I’m really tired, ‘night  _ hyung.” _

Taeyang is about to head back to his room that he shares with Youngkyun, but Seokwoo drags him to the direction of his room instead.

“What are you doing?”

“Sleep with me tonight. I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep without you because I’ll be thinking about you all night after what happened.”

“And when did I agree to this?”

Seokwoo quietly opens the door and they tip-toe towards his bed.

“You’re already here anyway,” he whispers before pulling Taeyang with him onto his bed and covers them up with his blanket.

“They’re going to see us when they wake up.”

“So? They’ve probably been waiting for this. Just go to sleep, you said you were tired.”

Seokwoo pulls the Taeyang closer to his chest and kisses the younger’s forehead, before resting his chin on the crown of Taeyang’s head. Taeyang decides that he likes being in Seokwoo’s arms, and he’s contented because he’d always wanted this and he’s dreamed of it for the longest time. His heart's still racing, and he’s yet to fully comprehend everything that has happened, but when Seokwoo starts drawing circles on his back, his eyelids get heavier and he doesn’t bother trying to fight it.

They’re each other’s last thought before they sleep.

 

(When Sanghyuk wakes up and finds the two of them snuggling against each other, he excitedly shares the news with the rest of the members, mostly because him, Juho and Youngbin won the bet as they said Seokwoo and Taeyang would be ‘official’ before their first anniversary, or at least by then. Jaeyoon and Inseong lost seventy thousand won each for saying otherwise and Sanghyuk and Youngbin never fail to rub it in their faces that they had lost the bet. 

A few days later, Juho finds Taeyang and Seokwoo making out in the kitchen at two in the morning when he’s about to get a drink for himself and wonders why, out of all members, he had to be the one to witness it and why they’re even making out in the kitchen at this time. Like, what the fuck guys? Juho ditches the idea of getting himself a drink.)

**Author's Note:**

> to sf9 who will never read this: happy first anniversary my loves, to many more years with all of you. i love you so much and you deserve only the best. let's only walk on the flowery path.  
> and to yi: we haven't even known each other for that long, but i'm so glad to know you (thank you sf9 for this). no one could be a better partner in headassery. let's write together for a long time.
> 
> also, do join us at [writesf9](https://writesf9.tumblr.com/) i promise the members are all nice and welcoming (we really would like more people joining!!) and we're even planning to do a birthday exchange thing which i think is pretty damn cute so feel free to apply :)


End file.
